Sorry but I just have to say it: I’m sick and fucking tired of all these obligatory purchasing holidays. Does my wife of seven wonderful years really need to get a bunch of ridiculously overpriced flowers that will just die in a week to know I love her? And if so, how could I honestly say that she loves me?
Worse yet, jewelers have gone off the Goddamn deep end trying to convince the women of today that only diamonds prove a man’s love. All I can say about that is NO. I will NOT be suckered in to buying shit no one needs just because some advertising executive douchebag implies that I won’t get laid otherwise. It’s just patiently false. So there.
Fact is, Valentine’s Day is just another way to get a working stiff’s money out of his pocket and into someone else’s. It’s a scam. No more, no less.
Fellas: If you’re expecting sexual favors tonight because you found the perfect gift, just know that you’re treating your lady like a whore.
Ladies: If you insist on getting a fancy, special gift today before getting down and dirty with your fella, you’ve earned the title.
There. I’m over it now. Hope everyone has a wonderful night and a memorable VD.