A Lesson for Democrats: Be Like Michael Bay

This weekend, I rented “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” on pay-per-view.  It was a non-stop thrill ride of explosions and violence that bombarded my eyes and ears with a constant rain of fire, leaving me with the jitters from all the adrenaline coursing through my veins.  The movie also left me confused, because as we all know Michael Bay doesn’t understand story structure and certainly doesn’t waste time with plot or character development.  And you know something?  I didn’t care.  When I rented the movie I knew what I was buying.  I wanted to see giant robots fighting and blowing shit up, and Michael Bay delivered.  For all of his lack of storytelling ability, Michael Bay still gets huge crowds and his films continue to make enormous amounts of money because he gives the people what they want.

This is a lesson to which President Obama and the rest of the Democratic party should be paying attention.  Regardless of what the critics say, or what kinds of reviews might be on the horizon, the only way someone in the public eye can be successful is to submit to the public will.  The public will, after all, is on display not only when people vote, but in what they buy and what they say.  The fact is that people voted for Barack Obama and put Democrats in charge of the national legislature for one reason; the people wanted their will to be obeyed.  We wanted to be out of the middle east, period.  We wanted a national health plan that would stop the ongoing figurative rape that is our current health care environment, period.  Finally, we wanted someone to check the ridiculous growth of the power afforded the wealthy elite and Wall Street firms, period.  As yet, we have seen none of these things.

It seems that Obama and the majority of the party to which he belongs are missing something here.  There are only so many critics, and they wield no real influence over what we the people say and do.  Michael Bay is a perfect example of this.  Ever read a positive review of a Michael Bay film?  There really are none, at least none that come from the professional critics, who are the equivalent of Washington’s talking heads.  But when you ask average people if they liked the most recent Bay installment, they repeatedly say they got exactly what they wanted.  There’s a reason the second Transformers movie had the third highest opening day of all time, and it has nothing to do with critical acclaim.  The love of professional critics means nothing, as Macaulay Culkin will happily tell you while he rolls in giant piles of money and fame, surrounded by beautiful women and Michael Jackson memorabilia.  Obama would do well to pay look at this phenomenon with undivided interest.

Mr. President, the Nobel Prize was nice.  You can hang it on your wall when you retire and rest assured that the history books will view you in a much more kindly light because of that award.  It’s kind of like winning an Oscar for best actor.  This goes for everyone in the Senate and House, as well.  Heed these words.  If you want to be really successful, which results in re-election, give the people what they want and do it now.  Get the hell out of the middle east.  No one really believes we can succeed there, and their lack of faith is justified by the fact that we can’t really succeed there.  Get nationalized health care done.  Three out of every four Americans want to buy into Medicare, just let us.  Throw everyone on Wall Street in jail for fraud, larceny, terrorism, and (just for kicks) jaywalking.  They’re already guilty of all things things and the proof is in the few remaining newspapers every single day.  Democrats, it’s time to take the Michael Bay approach to politics.  Damn the critics, full speed ahead!

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2 responses to “A Lesson for Democrats: Be Like Michael Bay

  1. I think the Wall Street portion was a bit dramatic. Why are you letting the banks pass muster, and the auto industry for that matter? Those two industries were views by the world as our shiny gold towers. Now, they’re nothing.
    Obama and the Nobel Peace Prize is a terrible joke. I hope he is proud of it because not even his own party is proud of it.

    You (Democrats) seem to have lost the Public Relations machine that was pushing Obama through the tough spots. His approval rating is dropping rapidly, and it will go further down before going up.

    Okay. Terrorists that commit acts of terror do indeed need to be caught where the act was committed. KSM wasn’t there. He was caught on a field of battle, by military troops, and needs to have his head sawed off in front of his countrymen. With a dull blade…

    • I assure you that the banks, as well as the auto industry, are just as guilty as Wall Street in my eyes. They should be broken up immediately. Too big to fail is too big to exist.

      I’m not a Democrat, actually. I’m an independent leftist with some conservative views as well. Overall, I’m all about rationality.

      As far as KSM, the sixth amendment states “In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district where in the crime shall have been committed”

      This means that he must be tried in New York.

      As far as I’m concerned, the guy deserves the death penalty for certain, but not until he’s been gang-raped by some of America’s baddest criminals first. His death should be precipitated by twelve inches of Alabama black snake jammed in his poop chute until his sphincter is torn out by the seams.

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